Choose Joy

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(Left photo from a year ago–right photo from this week)

I get compliments all the time about how much weight I’ve lost, how good I look, how tiny I’ve gotten, etc. All of which are shortly followed by, what diet are you on or what workout are using?  Lately my quickest answer has been my job and truthfully, part of it is my job. I do physical labor for 40-50 hours a week. Anyone who goes from nothing to that will surely lose weight,  but that wasn’t all of it.

For me, it wasn’t about the excercise, or what I was eating, literally it was the way I felt. The way I felt about me, my life, and my body. So how did I do it? What did I do to turn it all around?

I changed my perspective, I changed my attitude. Things that use to stress me out, I’ve made peace with and they no longer do. Where I once looked forward to days off, I now live every day, minute by minute. I’m more successful at work, my runs are more vigorous,  and do you know how much more enjoyable a glass of wine with friends is, when you aren’t thinking of tomorrow’s to do list?

I’ve taken a stance on my life to choose joy and I am much happier person because of it. There is peace inside and out. So next time you see me, ask me, how good do you feel?

#findyourpeace

this fourth

DSCN7012It’s been awhile since I’ve done an outfit post (sorry) but today I was totally feeling it and since it’s the fourth I thought I’d wear a subtle version of red, white, and blue. Flats, a tee, and jeans, back to basics, the best outfit. Plus I hope you’re digging those red lips because I certainly am! ;)

I have a rather busy day on my agenda today but I’m going to spend some time with a lot of people I love. A work day with my favorites and then a cookout with my family. Yay!

See you soon guys! DSCN7011DSCN7018DSCN7013

TOP: Wal-Mart

JEANS: American Eagle

Flats: Old Navy

(P.S. Can we all take a second and check out my right leg… haha!  #diva)

before dawn

DSCN70086 days before 5am.

You wouldn’t believe the peace you find in the morning before the dawn.

“Morning brings back the heroic ages. There was something cosmical about it; a standing advertisement, till forbidden, of the everlasting vigor and fertility of the world. The morning, which is the most memorable season of the day, is the awakening hour. Then there is least somnolence in us; and for an hour, at least, some part of us awakes which slumbers all the rest of the day and night.”
― Henry David Thoreau, Walden

The Wicked

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(From Wicked a week or so ago with my momma)

One of my favorite things about a story is when it personally speaks to you. It’s what I love about reading. Aside from the adventure a book brings,  I love connecting with the author, with the story, and with the characters. I’m not sure why, but perhaps it’s that message of “You’re not alone” that I find so calming among the pages of books in the hearts and minds of characters and stories.

Wicked is, without a doubt, one of those stories. From the moment I read the first page until the very end, I felt so moved, like someone had finally spoken an unknown truth. It’s an interesting perspective to hear the side of the villian, to learn why they are the way they are. You don’t think about villains in the story much. You only yearn for their defeat and the triumph of good over evil. Even authors and directors are guilty of not defending their villians and telling us how they came to be so evil, and even when they do, we never get the whole story.

But the truth is, no one is born that way, no one is born wicked, and even the Devil was once an angel.

To quote Gregory Maguire: “People who claim that they’re evil are usually no worse than the rest of us… It’s people who claim that they’re good, or any way better than the rest of us, that you have to be wary of.”

#truth

truly beautiful

Processed with VSCOcamThe very first place I flew on an airplane to was to California. I had just turned 18 and we were going to visit my dad in San Francisco to spend some time with him and see the city. It was my first time in an airport, my first time on a plane, and my first time outside the bible belt.

I swear since then, I’ve never seen the world the same. Once you’ve been above the clouds and you’ve seen just how close you can get to another world, your heart can’t go home tempted to never wander.

Since that trip, I’ve been in tons of airports, flew on countless planes, and I’ve seen cities all over the U.S.

But, I’ve always come back home. To the place where my heart is safe and I know how to drive and there’s just half as much litter as there is everywhere else in the world. I love Oklahoma, I always have and I always will, it was my home.

Was my home… I feel so compelled to say that I don’t know where home is. I’m not lost, but undecided. My heart is literally in more than one place right now.

I’d like to be back above the clouds, like I was the very first time. In total awe of their beauty from above, I forgot myself and the world we are in. It was truly, beautiful.

 

sweet june

DSCN6999Hello! I’m sorry for my absence (again) lately, but this year has been really difficult for me from a writing perspective and unfortunately my blog is paying the price! I’ve really been struggling to sit down and put what I want to say into words. I have draft upon draft of unfinished posts because I just can’t seem to get it right. I have things I want to say, things I need to say, things I don’t know if you care about, things I don’t care if you care about, but I just can’t seem to put any of them down. I’m hoping that I can make myself get back into the swing of things, I love this blog and I miss it.

“The most important things are the hardest to say. They are the things you get ashamed of, because words diminish them — words shrink things that seemed limitless when they were in your head to no more than living size when they’re brought out. But it’s more than that, isn’t it? The most important things lie too close to wherever your secret heart is buried, like landmarks to a treasure your enemies would love to steal away. And you may make revelations that cost you dearly only to have people look at you in a funny way, not understanding what you’ve said at all, or why you thought it was so important that you almost cried while you were saying it. That’s the worst, I think. When the secret stays locked within not for want of a teller for want of an understanding ear.”
― Stephen King, Different SeasonsDSCN7001DSCN7002
TOP: TJ Maxx

JEANS: American Eagle

NECKLACE: Old Navy

SHOES: TJ Maxx

the long road home

Processed with VSCOcamWith a little time off for the holiday weekend, I decided to go home for a day and spend some time with my family.

I hit the road at 6am and drove through gray overcast skies, green plains, and empty highways. It was gorgeous, glorious, even. I could probably drive these roads with my eyes closed. Every turn, every bump, feels the same.

Before I got home, I stopped and took this picture at the end of my street.

There’s so much nostalgia down this one long road.

So much of my childhood is strung down these ditches and hidden in the wild honeysuckle. The crawdads still creep and the vines still twist and overgrow. Teenage dreams still heat the pavement and I remember when I laid my heart on the line here. I remember when I wrecked my car here. The trees have grown taller and the road is as long as it’s always been.

The long road home to who I am.

feeling off

lkjhgfdEverything is totally out of whack for me right now. I know I haven’t been blogging, but I can’t. I feel off.

No matter what I’ve done, I can’t seem to get my life back to into it’s original swing. It’s like my world is spinning in an unstoppable circle.

I feel off with my friends, out of touch (their busy, their out of town, their moving, etc.)

I feel off with my husband (he’s in texas, can’t have his phone all the time. He doesn’t text and I don’t talk on the phone.)

I feel off with my parents (I haven’t visited them in so long or talked to them for than 10 minutes at a time).

I feel off with my boss (there’s been a weird tension and I’m really struggling with ONE part of my job).

I feel off with my coworkers (we’re in the process of hiring new people to replace those we lost this summer).

I feel off with my writing (I feel like I can’t say what I want to say on here anymore. The content of this blog is largely dictated by those that read it).

So where do you start when everything is so off? How do you put every aspect of your life into a new perspective? This summer is proving to be one full of lessons. Lessons in patience. Lessons in adaptability. Lessons in change.

I forget we all change. I think that, quite honestly, is the hardest thing in life.

“My world was changing, and I was not ready for it.” 
― Juliet MarillierDaughter of the Forest

Until next time, xoxo

(P.S. No comments on this please. Silence is all the support I need right now.)

 

 

just change it

DSCN6978How do you deal with change?

For me, it depends on the type of change.

I really enjoy a change in clothes. shoes. friends (ha.). throw pillows. hair color.

But I don’t enjoy a change in scenery. food. hair length. bedding. routine.

Change is tough, but I suppose it’s what makes me human. May and June will bring big things. Wish me luck.

“Nothing is so painful to the human mind as a great and sudden change.” 
― Mary ShelleyFrankensteinDSCN6972DSCN6974DSCN6976

TOP: Old Navy

JEANS: American Eagle

SHOES: Steve Madden

SCARF: Pier 1 Imports

JEWELRY: Old Navy